Lindsay Lohan is Desperate

Guess what, guys? In yet another pathetic publicity attempt, Lindsay Lohan has decided to drop the "Lohan." She thinks she's so famous, she deserves to be on the same level as Oprah, Prince, Shakira, Beyonce, Adele, Diddy, and all those other one-named people. However, she's forgetting that all those names are unique. "Lindsay" is a boring, Anglo-Saxon name on par with the name "Ashley" and slightly more interesting than say... "Sarah." The only one-named person I can think of with a boring name is Cassie, and she's mainly famous for banging Diddy and leaking some nudes (NSFW). Instead of dropping her last name, she should drop that god awful lip collagen or whatever the hell she's got going on there. Remember when she was actually a pretty girl?

 Back then, I thought she really had potential. Everyone talked about what a great little actress she was, she had decent looks, a giant rack, and that All-American Girl Next Door thing going on. And then she turned into this:

Sears the old retinas, doesn't it? Christ, this girl is my age and she looks like she could be my mother. Hell, my 51 year old mother looks better than she does. Although to be fair, Lindsay's lips aren't as inflated as they used to be. Here's one of the most recent pics from her court dates:

Trust me... There were worse pictures than this. I was trying to be nice for once, and she still looks like shit.  Laying off the drugs, booze, and restoring her lips to their former un-sausagelike state would probably do more for her career than dropping her last name. Oh, and therapy for kleptomania might help too... You'd think she and Winona Ryder were long lost siblings or something...